what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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