my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
