I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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