whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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