I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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