this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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