nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
