yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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