We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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