I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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