One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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