I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
