worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
