Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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