i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
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