i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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