glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
