New low: just hacked my moms facebook
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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