is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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