Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
