just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Randomize
