please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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