i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
should my penis look like a turkey
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
