i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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