He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
someone get that fucking seahorse.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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