You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
