Small penises have feelings too.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
