I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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