I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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