whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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