i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
