I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
