If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
