There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
