just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I can't turn off my feet"
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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