I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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