I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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