you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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