On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
