this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
