like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
