using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
