Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
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