I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
You're a waste of cheezeits
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
