the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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