Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
being pregnant is like rehab
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I need water and some morals
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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