i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
