Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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