There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
