Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
