i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm going to jail i love you
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
