i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
