sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Randomize
