Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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