Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Boobs speak an international language.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
