Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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