I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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