So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
no you cant smoke seaweed
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
