love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
