I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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